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WELL... last night was ....fun haha at the pub, Alex drank toms spit... for me!!! ewww i know!
i'm still struggling with many a problem, mostly not mine but a few are, i havent spoken to Tom today and now i miss him :( i tried ringing him earlier but i got no answer :(
i have a ballet exam tomorrow and myco and aggghh!!! and im really ill :( the joys of life

i wrote more peoms last night i will post them up soon as i know you must be dying to read!
and i wrote a monolouge i think its the only way im going to reach tom when he gets to me... ifi act it out in front of the class,

here it is...


My own monologue

…We used to be so good, me and him, a real double act, could never separate us, always together, on the phone at a house in the town, 4 wonderful years of a friendship that seemed to withstand everything, I used to make believe we were siblings you know, twins, I always wanted a twin brother, someone to make a secret language with or some random secret handshake, someone I knew I could always run too and we’d run together through everything, no matter what the consequences. He was my best friend, my soul mate, not a day went by when we didn’t talk or see each other always gossiping and laughing, making little jokes sniggering at comments, like real friends do. Then it came to decision time, school was coming to an end, where do I go!? Stay where I was with all my friends? The place I knew? Take subjects I wasn’t going to be happy in? but stay just to suit my mother? Or that wonderful place. Where I could be anything I wanted to be, meet new people, be a new person, and a plus point, be a new person with my twin! But what would he think? That I was following him? I was copying him? Surely not we’re best friends he wouldn’t mind! Surely he’d be over the moon his best friend was going to be at the same place as him?
Well the time came, I joined, it was great new people new place, new me, new time to spend with him. We started off so well! Making new friends, exploring, creating It was perfect, then one day it changed. Just stopped, he didn’t want to talk to me as much, he didn’t come round as much, he became cold and harsh, our double act was becoming more a solo act. He seemed happy enough, he was himself in his space, it was his calling, it was such a joy to watch him fly and be appreciated instead of being crushed like where he was before. It just seemed that slowly I was being pushed aside, he had new people now who loved him I wasn’t needed anymore to comfort and help he didn’t need to show off to just me, I was just like the others now.
It tore me up you know, I had to pretend I was fine when I wasn’t of course I wasn’t! if your friend drifted further and further away you would be pretty crushed too!, anyway I kept on going, letting out the odd tear now and again at home, but things got worse, I had to say something. So I did I wrote a letter said everything, I thought things were fine, we slowly became more normal again it was like life was rewinding I was chuffed! Things were ok, you know average, and they still are I guess. It’s just you know when it hurts to let someone go so you don’t because you know you’d rather them be horrible than not see them at all, and I just make believe we’re like the twins from skins you know we need each other and we’re still close but we need time apart, I hope he does care about me… I love my little brother, see I even call him my little brother, because I believe it so much, I guess I just want him care for me like I care for him, but people change don’t they, I know he’s there somewhere, guess I just need to find a way to wake him up….






Its about a girl talking about her best friend while looking at a picture after her boyfriend asks ‘who’s this?’ picking up the picture and she explains emotionally who it is and what he is to her…