Meh...

such a busy week.. so many things to do.

Devised
Concert
FMP
See Friends
MYCO
Ox Op
Work

Why is it i always manage to completely fuck up everything... huh? i seem to push away everyone i hold close and just breakdown, then i spend months re building my life and for what... for me to ruin it all over again... i dont spend any time with my friends.... i just sleep when i can... and just muddle on through on my own...

i feel so alone.
I know i have people but i still feel so alone
i want everything to be right

I WANT FRANNIE TO FUCK OUT MY PERSONAL LIFE!

i want to rewind and fix everything... but i cant and i have to keep going

head up carry on.. but im cracking breaking i cant hold on much longer i dont know what im going to do..

Maybe its true...

Maybe what people tell me is right... maybe im just not listening,... maybe i am a bad person... i mean Tommy's said it, Rory said it.. and even my own mother.... i dont know how to keep my friends my friends... i just want everyone im friends with to know that but i dont know how... i have no time.... i need to find time!

ugh i just wanna hide awy for a year... go away and never come back..

Help ......


I don't want this again..

I wish just for a day.. everyone was happy... i wish Rory could just forget about me, get over me, i wish tom could forget about Rory and be happy with me, ....

I want to be good enough for drama school and for everyone else.. and for me.

I want to be noticed, to do something to make me proud.
I want to grow up..

But i want never gets....

i am totally and utterly lost... i dont know what to do with my life. There isnt someone planning it out for me.. i have to choose and i dont know what....


Help me

Spirit....



i cared i still care...

it was never meant to end like this and my heart is bleeding too... i needed a change and now i think ive chosen wrong but its too fucked up to change....



im a foolish little fucked up girl
x