Take time to realize....

hmmm.....

I believe in angles but i call them best friends...

I LOVE these people more than life itself they are my best friends...

• Tom/Tommy/Babba/Babs/Brother
• Abikins
• Hattieikins
• Cheesecake
• Pidge
• Rory
• Steph
• Emily
• Lois /Lo Lo/Lo

i call these people my best friends.... I love them

xxxx

:)

Right so havent written in a while :) lots to say

i got a new job! .. well for a week! i'm teaching a summer school drama thing for a week, :D £250 for the week! thats from the 3rd-7th! yay! money!

Oh Xoz had a baby girl! :)

Tom stayed over last night, we camped in a tent, it was so fun! tom made a new version of chicago, its the sex version i was a little scared, gave tom a back massage again.. i either nearly killed him or he went to sleep... but yeah then we talked for ages! he goes away on saturday though :( then he gets back i go to work for the week but i'll see him in the evenings, then after that i go to Guilford for a week.. im so scared!!!! .:( but it should i be fun!

i'm really missing all my friends at the moment... especially college people like Hattei, Ruth, Zo, Megan, Gemmawemma, Abi and espcially alex.. i havent spoken to him or been round him or anything.. well there was frankies last friday but that was just ackward and everyone at the party from gosford all hate me! i was so like :( why did he have to put me down.. im looking frward to next week though! im staying at rorys parents house for the week before he goes to edinburgh!! :( but yeah... thats a basic catch up...

but generally im a happy bunny :) things are perfect with Tom and we're really good :) loves it so yeah hopefully life will stay fun!


loves and hugs!
xxxxxxxxxxx

Is it Love... or Sex?

I love him i really do... sitting here in the darkness with him.. on his ipod me on here typing my heart away.... i dont know... he says he cares but does he only want 1 thing.... it seems that way sometimes... dont want another scenerio where i fall for him more than they me... i cant take thay kind of pain all over again.... i really want this to work.... but im scared... and i dont know if i should be.... i dont know i dont feel right sometimes.... i feel sad and used i know he says he loves me... i dont know am i just being stupid.... i cant bare more pain...thats the one thing i cant do with.... i love him... im falling in love with him...but what happens if its just me.. i dont wanna long for someone who doesnt even care ive done that so much and im tired of it now...all my life i have just wanted someone to love me,... and to mean it for good...and someone who can be my best friend as well as my boyfruiend..... i dont know... i m worried now hes got me im going to lose him.... he's getting bored and i can almost see it... it mkaes me want to cry and shatter into a thousand pieces but i cant.... i love him... i wont tell him i know ir how i feel i dont wanna push him away or change him....


I love him. I'm in love with him.

Why me?

Short one tonight....

bad time at myco, jelous of tom, miss boyf, cant dance, failure,hate my life.
xxx

Time....

Sorry its been so long...!

been busy with my boy MFL AND Myco,
well anyway finished college now, 3 months off, find a job, edinburgh, GSA, London, Uni parks, Holiday, Work, Tom, Rory, Friends,

im so wierd at the moment feel really lost... i dont know what it is... im happy.. well i think im happy... i feel a bit off at the moment.. i feel not right very much out of place.maybe i miss tom... i spent a lot of time with him recently and i havent spoken to him or been with him a lot since... i dunno... lifes just a bit odd at the minute.. on the plus side though i have just oredered my new tamagotchi :D me and Zoz can be cool and have tami friends!!! yay!!

but yeah, oh wow just remembered i forgot to tell you about last week, well last tuesday... i went to see Sister Act with Tom it was really nice and i loved it so much!!! one of the best musicals ive ever seen :D then on froday i stayed rounds toms it was fun we stayed up talking and stuff :) then saturday was his suprise party!! he loved it (well i hope he did) wass really fun then he stayed over and we stayed up talking to gems in msn, had a pillow fight chatted, made a double bed on the floor gave him a back massage and a cuddle and then we slept for AGES! his mum came at like half 9 though! lol!! then sunday i went to the pub with abs and john and rory and stuff, then we went back to johns it was really fun!! in the morning me and hattie made a HUGE fry up and it was so awesome the boys drinkning and plaing pool me abs and hattiekins sunbathing then mine and Hats shower she is my officail lesbian lover now :P only her! lol! rory got so paranoid though! bless him!
but yeah then sunday night i stayed round rorys flat it was nice i wa so so tired though! then tuesday i .....cant remeber... then wednesday rory came over... bought me sunglasses was fun layed in the sun :) ten had myco! gay! i then stayed round rorys flat with Zoz that was a fun night we ate pasta at 2am!! haha!then yesterday we went to town with Jack Nathan Rory and Zoz and i bought a whole new wardrobe :D then i had ox op didnt do much at all! then i came home rory stayed over and we had a good night,, he went home today and i didnt do anything,, so yeah... thats my life in the oast few weeks....

Its been a long time ...

Right, where to start...

ok basics

1) I have a lovely boyfriend called rory edward campbell who (suprisingly) i have fallen for extreamly quickly and actually aam starting to properly love very much...
2)Had a fall out with Alex over it..
3)Stopped talking to Megs and Gems and others for a while but i had my gorgeous Zoe and Ruth keeping me going.. and Rory of course :)
4)Met Ross face to face.. hes a legend!!!!! :D (even if hes stealing my boyfriend!!!)
5)Went to the polo with Hattie Luke and Alex.. was a bit ackward to begin with but now is a lot better :)


so anyway... yeah thats a small run down... ive decided im going to post a lot like facebook what id like to say to people at the moment but its going to be longer and more in depth.. and probs more than 10...

one major person would be... Alex
ive wanted to talk to him for ages now... tell him like how i truely feel so yeah..

' I'm sorry... i know ive said it a lot and it means jack for all the hurt youve gone thorugh but i truely am.. i never wanted to hurt you.. i care a lot about you.. you're an amazing guy who didnt deserve to go through that but i hope you are happy for me and we can be good friends again.. i dont like how we dont really talk anymore... i dont like how i feel i cant talk to you or megan or gemma or anyone because i dont wanna upset you.. i know it hurt.. ive been there.. and yeah i know i shouldnt have but i cant help how i feel.. i feel awful for doing it,.. but if you could read this.. and every other pst you would see how much of a struggle its been and how much it pained me.. Zoe knows.. its been hard for me too and at last im happy and im set and not confused... i hope we can be good again and meet up, do things talk, laugh, you can come over for tea, me you tom abs can all got o the pub and have a good time... i miss you alex and you're one of the best friends ive got.. its been so hard to lose you... i love you. and im sorry. '


next one...

'Whats going on,... are you tired of me... are we still best friends i feel i dont see you anymore.. we never do anything together anymore i dont get hugs and texts and calls... its all me working hard for you... why cant you just sometimes show me you care and that i mean even a little bit of something to you.. i know youve been stressed lately but that doesnt mean you have to be mean and blunt... you can still hug me talk to me meet up.,.. im sorry im not abi or laura but we used to be so amazing have such a fantastic friendship and now i feel i dont have you anymore. you're my world darling.. ive had you in my life so long.. i almost feel like your mother, knowing everythin for you... making sure you're always on time, knowing what you're doing.. just general things... i dont like you as anything more than my best friend and sometimes i get the impression you think im in love with you or a i want you or something... baby that would be incest!!! :) i just want a best friend ... hopefully you'll come out of this soon and we can spend a nice summer together.. i wont desert you for rory... you're number 1 you're my best friend... friends come before boyfriends so dont be afraid to talk to me... you can trust me .. you're my brother my twinny... lets just chat ..i loveyou babba ..'


' You're one of the most amazing girlies in the world... you and the other pretty lady :) you two make everything ok again.... always.. you make me laugh so much,.. i feel i can be me around you and it doesnt matter when i look a complete twat i know you'll just laugh along with me.. you make me feel accepted and comforted i know i can always winge to you and you wont care .. and you know i'll do the same and i'll always tr and help... the both of you!!! i couldnt imagine my life without you two... youve made mine and rorys life a hell of a lot better and easier by accepting us and standing by us!!! god i love you two!!!! and i hope to never lose you two!!!'



'I have never fallen for someone as much as ive fallen for you.. you are just perfect to me... i love you.. ive never fallen in love so quickly before.... i miss you everytime you're not with me... i count down the hours till i next see you, i smile everytime i think of your smiling face and your eyes.. you make my life worth living sometimes and youve helped me overcome some shit.. i took a risk on you and i dont regret it at all... youve held my hand through all the crap and we've stayed strong through all the shit been thrown our way.. im so comfortable with you and you make everything seem so amazing..im sorry i take you for granted sometimes and i hit you.. i know i shouldnt... i dunno i just... you make me so happy ... i love you so much and i couldnt ask for a better boyfriend :) '


' Ive met you face to face once... you're a legend and i think you're a great guy and i want to get to know you better!!! :D ahh but stay away from my boyfriend i know he has gay tendencies but stay away hes all mine ;P!!! '



'Im so glad i have you... we've become such good friends i love it so much!!! i love how easily we talk and how i can confide in you but we have our jokes and laughs! you're such a good friend young lady and im always here for a chat and a cuddle :) love you slimeey!!!'




i think thats it..

people in my post...


Rory
Ruth
Zoe
Abi
Tom
Alex
ROSS!! :D haha