Hmmm....

I had such a fantastic day today what with Sister Act and Tom being so lovely to me recently... but im on my bed and im thinkning and listening to music and thinking.... thinking about Rory.... hes in edinburgh till next week hes been gone for 4 weeks.... i went to see him but when i was there i felt like he had changed so much... not in a good way.. he seemed constantly glazed.. not interested lost his spark for me..... it made me cry so much... all i could think when i was there was i wanted to go home... i cried so much and i have no clue why i just felt that rory has lost his passion for me.... we argued so much... it feels like we're just a pysical couple and have no emotional bonding.... i hate this feeling.. i dont know what it is.. i know he loves me he tells me but i just wanna talk and laugh and cuddle and do nice things.... it feels like i havent done that recently i thought we'd be so close after 3 weeks but it was just ... odd..... i felt so happy to begin wih but cried so much.. he wont wake up for me now.. hhe wont watch me sleep like he used to, he wont cuddle me or hold my hand... hes doing weed again and smoking so much and he was glad that i was going in a way because he could goout and have fun again.... i feel like a tag along bring down girlfriend who can't do anything... i feeel so young i guess... i dont want him to reaslise that.... i just want to feel loved again.... i know he loves me i just wish hed show it.... he has no idea how much i sacraficed to be with him.. i wish he would do the same...