hahaha re reading a previous post and realising im no happier now than when i wrote the original post hahaha oh well

Well, its been a while.. So now at Roe Bruford making my way through, its fun! and exciting and i love it! missing musical theatre like mad but i am enjoying myself and im happy.. well as happy as i can be, making me tougher to whats going on around me. So i was in a realtionship with Harry Hemingway-Mcghee! i know hes young but hey we had a good time... for a while then it kind of all went to shit and i didnt really know what to feel, was kinda weird feeling all that agaill n only after 10 months... haha oh well im a complicated one me! So was getting on with life nicely... single but getting along, who needs men anyway... then i ran into Matthew Taylor... well what can i say about Matt Taylor... hes tall dark handsome and oh so charming! So i bumped into him in a club... was like someone set off a little spark in me... haha maybe this guy... who has been so persistant for so many years has a point... so i opened up to him..told him i liked him and began to properly fall for him... i really liked him... and then! well i was speaking to Anna Moore... we met Matt in Wahoo together... well she was there.. and yeah so apparently they get on really well and they like eachother and are seeing eachother.... felt like someone had slapped me... you dont quite realise how much you like someone until someone else..your best friend tell you they like him too...hahaha oh its like something out of a bloody film.... so now im drinkning beer writing this to you even though no-one will read it and to be honest i just needed to get it off my chest... so fed up of everything and that song.. chip on your shoulder from legallly blonde really speaks to me right now! its great and to be even more honest... im better than that and im better than them and i miht sounds like ' a drama school prick' as harry put but im happy having a chip on my shoulder and imhappy trying to fight my corner no more walking over Emma shes not a rug shes a girl, a girl who was hurt so many times and yet is now stronger ... maybe thats the beer talking but who cares! its my life i'll feel what i want and im at drama school and if i wanna be a queen i will be! and i will be amazing and i will make myself gorgeous! No more letting my guard down with twats who dont deserve me! no more pretending just gunna be real and honset and true and if people dont like it they can fuck off! I know my life isnt hard but to me its all ive known and to me its hard... so people can judege but hey im young and learning... so i dont care... anyway gives me challenges to overcome in myself... and i feel stronger and better... fuck men, fuck everything, gunna get through my college life and concentrate on being un obtainable and fun!